Are you in an intimate engagement and stressed? If yes, you may wonder, “are relationships supposed to be stressful?”, and the next question is: why am I stressed? Then, what efforts am I putting in place to clear up this stress?
Now, you can realize that all is not fine, at least now that your relationship isn’t functioning the normal way. Most likely, you and your partner thrive together and get along well. But what happens when one of your starts to feel stressed out by your relationship?
Having to deal with stress is a daunting task itself, and so is trying to save even the strongest relationships from breaking down, or dealing with a stressful person. We can all agree on that, right? Well, can stress ruin a relationship? Yes. When stress becomes part of a relationship, it effectively creates disconnection, distance and constant disagreements between partners.
But by knowing how to deal with stress, not only do you get to know how to deal with other hardships but also create a newer version of your intimacy, that brings you two together.
Here’s how to soothe your stressful relationship.
Handle External Stress First
Relationship stress examples include but not limited to financial stress, work, and family. Even your spouse could be the cause of your stress. But as you may realize, most stress could come from within your relationship or from outside. That is why managing a stressful relationship calls for fixing outside stress first, before handling the one that comes from within.
What this implies is that if the source of your stress is not the relationship, don’t make matters worse by making your troubles part of your engagement. Train yourself on how to deal with stress from external sources so that it does not seep into your affairs with your partner.
Although dealing with a stressful relationship can prove to be a bit difficult, here’s how you can go about managing it, at least to benefit your family.
If the stress is emanating from outside sources, the surest way of all is to nip it in the bud. It helps to deal with any problem before it escalates to gain the potential to damage your relationship. For example, if your disagreements with your bosses at the workplace are straining how you relate with your partner, you can consider getting a new job elsewhere, instead of letting it affect your wellbeing and that of your family.
You will realize that most couples tend to mix external issues with the family’s private life, effectively ruining things in a relationship. If you are dissatisfied with your current job, let that not affect how you relate with your partner, because after all, it has no direct link with family affairs, save for benefits such as salary and such.
Amid relationship stress, it is important to open communication lines with people around you, and more importantly, your partner. This way, they will be able to advise you accordingly and help where possible.
Focus on Your Relationship
This is simply to say that you should make a priority check. Whether you are stressed or not, life has to move on, and you are so sure that what matters the most to you is your relationship. The source of the stress and the fact that you are stressed should after all not matter to you more than your engagement to your spouse and your family’s well being, right?
Make it clear that although you are going through a difficult time at work (and it is straining your relationship), your partner and family is what matters more than anything else.
Deal with The Trouble Together
As we all know, dealing with a stressful relationship is the worst thing that can happen to any relationship, especially if each of you is handling their stress separately, as an individual.
Recall the vows you took? That in all ups and down, you won’t leave your partner’s side. What this means is that it takes two to form a relationship, which means that you should handle everything as a team.
Managing stressed relationships is never an easy feat, and that is why you should see you and your spouse as a team going through a difficult time, and look for a solution together.
Such times call for putting the ego in you in a corner and thinking through problems critically. And remember to figure out what both of you can do together, instead of what you can do as an individual.
● If the stress is originating from your partner’s encounter with hard situations at the workplace, actively show your encouragement and support. You know, you are part of a team, so you should help and comfort your partner to the best of your abilities.
● Stress often comes uninvited, and it works to test how strong is your relationship. If you have chosen to stay put and together throughout the difficulty, make it clear to your partner. You should be committed to fighting battles together no matter the troubles either or both of you are going through.
Learn to Overcome a Troubled Relationship
Knowing how to deal with stress in a relationship is the worst obstacle for most couples. You may be going through this as we talk, but you should never be worried as the micro-skills appearing below can help you to manage relationship stress better.
Look For Signs of Stress
Just like with other serious illnesses, looking out for symptoms is the first step to healing. Fortunately, signs of stress are highly visible, though you and everyone around should pay attention to them.
When you lose connection and communication between you and your partner, you are slowly losing sight of their stress. Living with a stressed person is a very difficult learning experience, you know?
Ask yourself: How does my partner show signs of stress? How is my partner’s disposition, eating habits, sleeping patterns, energy levels, and mood changes?
It is even more difficult dealing with stressed guys than it is dealing with women. Women are likely to report physical symptoms of stress, which is not the case with women.
Finding ways of how to deal with stress in your relationship goes a long way to benefit both of you in the future.
Support Them, Don’t Punish Your Relationship
It is natural for your partner to feel agitated and withdrawn from your relationship, and this could leave you feeling as if you are not valued or appreciated in a relationship. At this point, your instincts may tempt you to also withdraw and treat them the way you think they are treating you. In this case, you will not only be reacting aimlessly but also punishing them more.
Rather than succumbing to the desire to let them see or themselves how it hurts, and adding a further strain to your relationship, think forth and show some compassion, at least for your relationship.
This way, you will effectively deal with the already built negative tension and you will also be tending to the specific needs that your relationship needs during this time. You are the anchor that your partner and relationship require at such testing moments.
Open The Lines of Communication
It’s worthwhile noting that healing stress in a relationship is a strategy. It all goes down to putting down our egos and personal desires to a corner and acting for others, as they need us more during turbulent times.
During such times, it is imperative to maintain good communication. Yes, communication has a very important role in treating relationship stress.
● Talk things out. There is no better way to know where your partner’s emotional state than by using the power of your words. Listen to them more than you can speak, because you just can’t assume that you know how they feel. Who knows? You might even realize that his stress is something small that you can solve.
● Choose words with a lot of care. Stressful moments are unique in their way. It is from such moments that your partner will measure their trust for you, and so on. Let them say their thoughts without any judgment on your side. Pretense, accusations, exaggerations, and fake compliments won’t let you work through the tide as a team.
How to Deal with Stress: It Is Part of Life
Living in a stressful relationship is never easy. It feels good when you and your partner read from the same page emotionally. But stress might hit you hard when it strikes, which calls for the application of constructive ways above to manage it effectively. Visiting guidance and counseling therapists should be a last resort for people in stressful relationships, or partners living with a stressful person. And while it may appear difficult managing a stressful relationship, marshaling up the emotional and mental resources to help deal with stress will create comfort and a valuable connection that both of you can count on even after the stress is healed.