Is it okay to ask a girl out via text message? Ideally, most girls prefer that you ask them out in person. But if for some reason you can’t meet her in person, if you lack the courage, or if you think you’re more likely to succeed via phone, you can then do it over text.
However, to increase your chances of success, you should use impeccable texting etiquette. Whether you want her to go on a date with you or to be your girlfriend, it’s important to be polite and respectful.
Asking a girl out on a date
1. Have Ideas for a Date
If you know her well and you want to ask her out on a date, then you should consider date ideas that align with her interests. The more appealing your date idea is, the more likely she is to say yes.
Besides, having a clear plan with a set time and place makes you more decisive than when you just say, “We should hang out soon” or “I’m not sure, what would you like to so?”
Here are date ideas you can mull over before you ask her out:
● If you share a taste in music, you can invite her to a show or concert.
● You can ask her to join you for ice cream or lunch. If you’re a good cook, you can invite her for a home-cooked dinner. Dates don’t have to be about meals, though; you can go bowling or even hiking.
● Choose activities that will allow you to have a conversation. For instance, going to the movies isn’t a good idea because it entails just staring at a screen in silence, it won’t provide you with the chance to talk.
But, if you still think going for a movie is an idea she’d love, you should plan for dinner beforehand, or grab some ice cream after so that you get a chance to talk and know each other better.
2. Send an Opening Text
To get the conversation going, greet her first. If you’ve just met and you aren’t sure whether she has your number, you should remind her who you are and how you met.
You can say something like, “Hello, I’m (so and so), and we met at this place on this other day.” If you sure she has your number, then you can just say, “Hey, what’s up” or “Hi, how’re you doing?”
● If you met her recently, you could tie your conversation to your last encounter. For instance, if you recently met at a party, you can ask her, “Hey, how did the rest of your night go?”
● If you share a class, you can text her something like, “Are you prepared for the Monday test?”
● Wait for her to respond first before you dive into asking her out. Remember that she could be occupied or she might not have the phone with her, so be calm and patient.
3. Ask Her Out
Once you have the conversation going, you now need to ask her out. You can start by inquiring about her plans for a given day/weekend. If she says she doesn’t have much planned, then tell her your plan. You can text something like, “Would you mind joining me for (such and such) activity.”
● Don’t wait for too long. If your conversation goes on tangents before you ask her out, it may seem too unexpected or awkward. You don’t need to have a convoluted conversation when you’ve just started texting each other.
● Keep it short and sweet. You can say something like, “Would you mind us going for a movie on Saturday?” “Can we go bowling on Friday evening?”
● Have a clear plan with a specified time and place. If you just suggest, “Want to go bowling sometime?” You’ll sound indecisive. You should present to her a clear plan if you want to convince her that you’re serious.
● Give her options. She may be interested in meeting you, but she doesn’t enjoy bowling; she may want to join you for dinner, but she ate yesterday at the eatery you suggested. Present to her a concrete plan, but be clear that you welcome her input.
4. Respond Appropriately to Her Answer
If she’s willing to go out with you, then sort out the details, decide on the location and then agree on the necessary logistics. Once you’re on the same page, end the conversation in a relaxed manner by texting something like, “Nice, see you on Friday.”
Don’t overextend the conversation; else, you seem to come on too strong. However, if she keeps on texting, you should respond.
● Make it clear that you’re enthusiastic about the date. This will make her look forward to it, too, as well as make her feel special.
● If she’s not interested in going out with you, let her know that your harbor no hard feelings and then end the conversation. You should keep your head high and end your exchange on a good note.
Asking Her to be Your Girlfriend via Text
1. Determine if She’s Interested in you
Ideally, you should only ask her to be your girlfriend once you’ve gone on dates, and you’re positive that she likes you romantically.
But how do you know if she likes you? Well, there are subtle signs that you should look out for, like her blushing when you’re talking or her waiting for you after classes. You should at least have a hunch that she likes you before you ask.
● If you don’t know each other very well, if you’ve never had much of a conversation with her, or if she already has a boyfriend, then asking her to be your girlfriend should be out of the question. You can find another fantastic person.
● While you may not have to be 100 percent certain that she likes you, her body language can say a lot about how she views you; focus on that when you meet next.
Is she thrilled to see you? Does she unconsciously turn her body towards you? Is she a bit nervous when you’re around? When you’re in a group setting, does she laugh at jokes while facing you? Is so, then give it a shot, she might be equally interested in you.
2. Send an Introductory Text
Start by saying hello, like “Hi, how is your day,” “Hey you,” or “Hey, how have you been?” This will gently ease you into a more in-depth conversation. But you don’t have to try to be extra witty or amusing at the initial stages.
Just have a naturally flowing conversation. Be direct and stick to the main point; she’ll appreciate your confidence.
● Though you can’t be sure about her schedule, you try to chat with her when she’s likely to be less busy. For instance, if you know that after school she goes for soccer practice, then you text her one or two hours after that.
3. Be Honest About your Feelings
Complement her unique qualities, tell her you enjoy your time together and why you enjoy her company.
You can say, “I’ve really enjoyed the couple of weeks that I’ve spent with you,” or ‘I feel really special when I’m with you” or “No one else has ever made me feel this way.”
Whatever you say should be heartfelt, though. But don’t go overboard with the flattery and praise.
● Wait for her response before you make the next move. How she reacts to your statements will determine whether the feelings are mutual or not.
● If she reciprocates, you should then go ahead and ask her if she might be interested in being your girlfriend. If she doesn’t get back to you or only says “thanks” without being explicit about her feelings, then she might not be romantically interested in you.
● Don’t overwhelm her with endless praise as you may come off as insincere or too intense.
4. Does she Want to be Your Girlfriend?
Once you get to this stage, you should ask her whether she wants to be your girlfriend. There are many ways to pose this question. You be straight forward and ask her, “Can you be my girlfriend?” or “Should I start calling you my girlfriend?” or “Are we now officially a couple?”
Don’t wait for too long before you ask this question. The sooner you know what she thinks, the sooner you’ll progress.
● Conversely, you can ask her an open-ended question like, “Are you open to the idea of us being in a relationship?” Open-ended questions ease off the pressure and show that you care about her desires and that you’re willing to compromise.
5. React Appropriately
If she interested in being your girlfriend, great! Then start planning your first fun activity together. It could be going bowling or attending a show. This will show her that you’re committed and you’re willing to invest time and effort into your relationship.
If she’s not as enthused as you about the relationship, be courteous and thank her for her time. Leave things on a good note; you will look back and be proud of your level-headed reaction.
In a nutshell, when asking a girl out on a date, be sincere and graceful.