One fact we can all admit is that the world is rocky for anyone looking for romance, and it’s even rockier for shy people who need dating tips and extra advice to find their perfect match.
How do you overcome shyness while dating? Well, shy people dating is entirely difficult, especially if both the man and the woman are shy. It is easier for shy people to get caught in a vicious circle; they meet a person, become too nervous to say what they feel, and miss out on a potentially great life partner.
The result is that they could end up feeling down and their self-confidence erodes away very fast on every attempt. The next time they meet a new person, a similar situation repeats itself, and the deal flops, again.
The shy guy cancels date and says, “on to the next catch”, hole up himself in a corner and get hard on himself. If you are a girl dating a shy guy or you are in a shy guy dating shy girl situation, fear not! Do not let the thought of dating overwhelm you no matter what.
Here are 15 tried and proven dating tips for shy people.
Dating Tips for Shy People
1. Dress Well to Boost Your Self-Confidence
Did you know that looking good is equal to high self-confidence? Well, you are now in the know. This tip comes in handy especially if you are the kind of person that feels shy on the first date. And don’t get it wrong, we are not talking about expensive clothes here. Do good looks only-you get the idea?
The moment you start feeling that you look your best, you will also start becoming extra-confident. No matter the amount of self-confidence you will muster, it is certainly a good thing to help you in dating while shy.
Who knows? Maybe your good-looking 3-piece suit could be a good conversation starter, and you can pick up from there. So, get something unique; one that feels special to you. For example, your date may admire that Marcus Garvey quote scribbled on the front pocket of your shirt.
2. Test the Waters First
It is easier and more natural to go on a first date with a whole lot of expectations. We can’t blame anyone for that because we have all been through the same, right? But take care not to feel let down when your date doesn’t meet your expectations.
If you are dating while shy, it helps to dip your front toe in first and wade through before jumping into the deep end. It all goes down to overcoming the pressure of romantic experiences when you are meeting your date.
The first date is particularly created for knowing each other minus other huge expectations looming over either of you.
Just find a good activity that may be a potent source of many conversations, and you won’t find your first date as a waste of time.
3. Come Up with a Strong Statement That Defines You
We all know the power of a strong headline on a resume, that sentence that creates a strong bond with your reader and gets them to reach out to you.
Coming up with a strong headline should top the list of your first date ideas for shy girl. This also applies to men, as shyness is not a ladies’ affair only. Arm yourself with statements that will tell your date who you are.
A good example of a perfect headline is “I work as a video editor where I get to entertain people everyday through amazing visuals”. That sounds enticing as compared to “I am a video editor”. This way,your date might want to know more about you,so you will not have to worry about breakdown in communication. You just need to keep the communication going.
4. Engage in Your Passion
Doing something you are passionate about eases the tension around you. Additionally, it helps the other person to know you better. This way, you will not need to struggle to find and get a conversation going because after all, you know and love what you intend to engage in.
If you love music, you can bring along your Ipod or MP3 player and enjoy music as you relax with your date. They will,without doubt,notice that you have a passion for music. Things could get better if you share a passion.
If you like cycling, don’t forget to come with your bicycle to the date. You get the idea,right?
5. Relax, It’s Not Your Everything!
As the adage goes, there are lots of fish in the ocean. Don’t beat yourself up over the possibility of another date not happening. The anticipation of a date being a “success” can kill the first date even before it kicks off, and you don’t want that. Take it as practice and be proud that you moved past shyness, at least. So,if things don’t work out well as per your plan,don’t feel low or get mad at the world. There’s still time.
6. Focus On Your Date
Getting to know each other is the most essential part of any date. Most probably, this is not a person you have grown up with, thus, it is important to ask questions and listen to what the other person has to say.
Dating while shy is a tricky experience, as you may easily end up focusing your energies on conversations that are not relevant to your meeting at all. You can ask your date, ” How much tea can you drink alongside 3 loaves of bread?This question may come across as silly, but it is an easy way to break the tension of your meeting.
Apart from easing the tension built up in a date meeting, such awkward questions let the other person feel that you want to know them more, and better.
7. Enhance Your Online Profile Appropriately
Would you date a shy guy? Well, often, you meet guys online and proceed to date them, only for you to later realize that they are mostly shy. You don’t want this to happen, right?
Now, truth be told, most online dating sites house shy singles, and that is fine because they find it hard approaching people physically.
While you don’t want your profile to paint a picture of you as an extremely shy person, try very hard not to paint yourself as an extrovert. If you do that, you are likely to attract the wrong match and you will pay for it dearly. There are many people out there who are looking for introverted people like you, so there is no need to hide in camouflage.
8. Keep an Open Mind
Now, should you go for a fellow shy person simply because you are shy? No. Shy guy dating shy girl can be difficult, simply because naturally, everyone else is looking for traits and qualities that are different from theirs so that the relationship can balance out. Be open-minded but yet still, know that a good night out can be seen from a different lens by both of you.Be a bit flexible and accommodative of your date’s preferences and interests.
9. Be the One to Pick Dating Spots
Hey girl, do you have some first date ideas for shy girl? Pick this one. You know, shy girls are the most distracted by locations as compared to shy guys.
But this invaluable shy people dating advice is for all of you. Always ensure that you are the one who picks out where you want to go on a date. This way, you will be able to go to locations that make you feel less shy and extra comfortable.
10. Go to Quiet Places
Shy people often find it tiring to stay around crowds of people, so why not schedule your dates to somewhere away from the crowds? Maybe in a camp at the national park?
11. Put a Limit On Your Dates
One way to feel in control and take things at your own pace is by placing a limit on the dates you attend. You don’t want to spend an entire day feeling daunting, right? Have that tip for short yet shy-friendly dates.
12. You Can Be Talkative, But Think Long-term
If you are dating while shy or dating a shy guy, it’s worthwhile noting that things don’t happen instantly, so think long-term. Shyness won’t leave you because you have attended two or three dates. No. Improve it little by little, in such a manner that tomorrow is better than today, and today is better than yesterday. Take every date as a practice and since nature has a way of balancing things, every effort you put will bend in your favor.
13. Overcome Fear and Start Conversation
Have you ever realized that most shy guys are that way because they grew up without sister figures? Or that shy girls are shy simply because they grew up without brothers?
Now, whichever the case, you can train yourself to overcome fear when you meet with strangers, by:
● Starting conversations with sincere and real compliments of your date
● Using any current situation to crack a joke
● Asking for a simple favor, for example, time.
● Utilizing surroundings and situations. Think simple.
This way, you will find yourself overcoming the big obstacle that’s shyness within no time at all.
14. Have Specific and Clear Motivation
As you may have realized, motivation can push things beyond boundaries. So, ask yourself why you should overcome shyness when dating. The strongest and more valid reason to overcome shyness is that it helps you interact with more people and find your potential one. With this in mind, you will find it easier to deal with shyness as you will already feel motivated to avert the possibility of landing the wrong date.
15. It’s Good to Know the Right Expectations
It’s not uncommon that most shy people are afraid to get social simply because they have unrealistic expectations. For example, it’s possible to expect that our date partner should like us 100 percent, which is not always true.
What this means is that having such flawed expectations is a great way to remain tied to shyness. One sure way to get out of shyness is by changing your mindset and managing your expectations. Know that it’s possible to get rejected or loved. Expect anything because your date has no obligatory duty to love you 100%.
Fix Dating While Shy: It’s a Process!
Even as you follow the tips above, don’t forget to treat all of them as a process. Social interactions, let alone dating, can be very tiring especially if you are a shy guy dating shy girl. Remember that it’s fine to be shy, because that is entirely not your fault, but you should learn how to control and manage things even when you feel at your least shy.